Jan 252013

Coming up with four tips for developing a healthy relationship was tough. There are literally dozens of gems that can help people get through a rough patch or revitalize a lackluster marriage, but I decided to write about four of the cornerstones of healthy relationships.

4 Tips for a Healthy Relationship

This article will briefly touch on trust, commitment, intimacy, and communication, which are all crucial elements to developing and maintaining long term relationships. Although these are all essential concepts, if you don’t apply them, they can’t do you any good. If you’re reading this because you’re looking for solutions to your relationship obstacles, be sure to incorporate these into your daily life.

Relationship Tip #1: Trust Your Significant Other Completely or Move On

Trust is by far the most important part of any relationship, and it’s no surprise that some of the most common reasons couples experience relationship issues are related to a lack of trust. Jealousy, insecurity, and suspicion are all things that erode the foundation of a good relationship and lead to its gradual decay.

All couples, no matter how rock solid their trust in one another, experience moments of doubt. It’s completely normal, but questioning your significant other interrogation style to try and glean any hint of deception will do more damage than good. Ultimately, it’s impossible to know if your partner is telling you the truth, so it comes down to choice: either trust them, or don’t. Taking a ‘sort of’ approach will only lead to problems. If you’re not with someone you can trust completely, you’re not with the right person.

Relationship Tip #2: Commit Wholeheartedly

There are literally millions of different people out there you can marry and be happy with. Each one will offer something different, excite you in different ways, and aggravate you in others. The notion that there’s someone perfect out there keeps people from committing whole heartedly, so they sort of dip their toes in the relationship waters so it’s easy to get out if something better comes along.

Your likes and wants change throughout life, and there will always be someone out there who you think is a bit better looking, maybe a bit more adventurous, or a bit better in some little way. Being with someone because they’re the best is a terrible approach and will always leave you feeling unfulfilled. I’m not saying you should settle; settling will only lead to resentment and regret.

Be with someone because you want to be with them, not because you need to be. Be with them because they turn you on, they have good character, and they’re fun to be around. Be with them because they make you happy, make you laugh, and accept you for who you are. I don’t believe anyone is perfect, but I do believe some people are good enough. If you find someone like this, make the decision to commit to them, and have the balls to stick it out when it gets tough.

4 Tips for a Healthy Relationship

Relationship Tip #3: Keep the spark alive

One of the most common arguments against monogamous relationships is that being with the same person for years gets boring, and over time the spark or chemistry fades. For some people, the question isn’t how to keep the attraction alive, but if it’s even possible to stay physically attracted to someone over such a long period of time.

It’s definitely possible. When you meet someone you’re attracted to, there’s usually a particular thing that makes you feel drawn to them, maybe the way they hold themselves, maybe their vibe, maybe the way what they’re wearing shows off their body. Sexual attraction is a prerequisite for any great relationship, and over long periods of time it’s easy to take someone for granted and forget why you were so into them in the first place.

Check your partner out. Stare at them as if you don’t know them, allow yourself to remember the rush you got the first time you met. If you find the sex isn’t as exhilarating as it used to be, hold back for a couple days. It’s easy to overlook your girlfriend’s great ass or nice legs when you can touch her anytime you want.

A lot of relationships lack sexual tension because couples get too comfortable groping each other whenever. Try limiting yourself to the same physical boundaries that existed before you got together, and let the tension build up for a couple days before breaking it.

Keep things spontaneous. Avoid routines, go to new places, do new things, and never stop bringing each other little surprises when they’re not expected. Don’t let everyday tasks interfere with quality time together; make room for dates, road trips, and adventures.

Relationship Tip #4: Communicate

Although this rule applies to general everyday life, it takes on an entirely different level of importance when you live with someone or spend almost every day with them. Little problems that you hold in to avoid petty arguments turn into repressed anger, which isn’t really bad in small amounts, and in day to day life is a great way to avoid needless drama. But when you’re around someone every day or close to every day, you’re exposed to them in a very different way than when you’re casually dating once a week.

Little habits might rub you the wrong way, and if both of you try to avoid the issue for the sake of having a tranquil relationship, eventually bottling those little bits of anger day after day will result in a huge blowout – this is usually the cause of the “first big fight” in a relationship.

Arguing is not only normal, but healthy. Being in a relationship is the joining of two separate people, each with their own opinions, beliefs, and ideas – it would be weird and unnatural if two healthy individuals NEVER had conflicting ideas.

You aren’t doing your partner any favours by holding in your emotions. If something bothers you, let them know. If something is on your mind, chances are it’s on their mind too, so man up and talk about it.

What are your thoughts? Do you have any tips to add? Leave a comment below!

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