Before you settle down into a serious relationship, you gotta ask yourself if you’re honestly ready. After all, the best time to sort out potential relationship problems is while you’re still single.
Today, I’ll share three things with you that will help your next relationship be a successful one. And honestly, even if you aren’t interested in a relationship, doing these things will help you develop a more fulfilling life.
How many of these things are you doing?
1) Experiment and Indulge Your Curiousity
This is wildly important to both relationships and just being a cool, mature human being. If you deny or try to suppress your urges and desires, you’re going to create feelings of guilt, stress, frustration, and other negative emotions. These negative emotions can indirectly undermine your relationship and cause problems in your personal and professional life.
Even if you suppress desires you believe are wrong or unacceptable, the desire will be there. How long can you hold off? How long until one drunk night you decide to try out what you’ve been putting off, and find you really like it? What if indulging in this behaviour is damaging to your current lifestyle?
If you don’t get dating and sexual experience, how will you know if your relationship is going through a rough patch or if it’s just not a good fit for you? If you feel you don’t want your partner as much as you “should”, how will you deal with your desire for other people?
You see where I’m going here? Exploring, figuring out who you are, and trying things helps you discover what you really enjoy and what you don’t. You need life experience to make informed decisions. /end rant
2) Discover Your Passions and Pursue Them
Passion is attractive. If you have no passions in life, no desires, no hobbies, not only will you seem one dimensional, but you’ll lack the sense of confidence and fulfillment a person gets when they’re doing what they love.
Some people are extremely lucky and feel an instant connection with something, and for some reason most people I talk to think this is how passion works. You just do a bunch of things and eventually you find something you’re passionate about, but I find this to be untrue.
Mark Cuban said it best: follow your effort. When you’re good at something, you get more enjoyment out of it, and you feel more passionate about it, and get better at it, and so on. It becomes a positive feedback loop.
Am I saying you can become passionate at anything?
If you aren’t fulfilled by your sense of passion and purpose in life, you will try to use people or things to fill that void. You will become dependent, needy, and emotionally off balance, none of which are attractive qualities.
3) Develop a Fulfilling Lifestyle and Stick To It
One of the biggest relationship mistakes people make is thinking they need to spend ever increasing amounts of time with their partner in order to move the relationship forward.
Eventually it gets to the point where spending any more time together means sacrificing personal activities, things that give each person some alone time or time with friends, and provide a sense of personal satisfaction and accomplishment.
Time with friends, time apart, and time spent pursuing passions all provide vitality and energy for a person, and without these things their vitality disappears. Eventually, social networks dissolve, people lose motivation and become lethargic, and the relationship seems to fizzle out.
Happy, successful people are balanced people; they have a great sense of how to maintain different areas of their life. Develop a healthy, balanced routine of maintaining yourself physically, socially, mentally, and emotionally, and don’t let romantic interest pull you away from that.
If you go to the gym on Wednesday nights and have poker with the boys on Mondays, a relationship shouldn’t interfere with those things. If you stop taking care of yourself or neglect your lifestyle, your relationship will suffer.